From Stress to Success: Parenting Through PSLE
September.
For any other parent, this would probably be just another school month that they would have to power through with their kids. But if you’re a parent of a Primary 6 student in Singapore, then you would know that this month is extremely important and significant.
The Primary School Leaving Examinations (PSLE) is one of the first of many academic milestones that students in Singapore would need to conquer. It’s their first public exam, and in a lot of ways, it determines the next chapter of students’ academic journey here in Singapore.
20 years back, PSLE was not as daunting as it seems to be today. Primary school students these days are grappling with so much more content and mental workload than what we had to endure. Their stress triggers have also multiplied exponentially over the past few years.
September.
We’re reaching the middle of the month, and for parents who are worried and anxious about how your kids are going to fare in PSLE, here are a few takeaways I’ve accumulated over my years as an English tutor:
1. Diamonds are formed under pressure
For the longest time, this has been the mantra that teachers and parents have been using to motivate students to be the “best version” of themselves. Singapore’s education system has also embraced this concept unwittingly. But to quote twitter user, Victor Linao:
“‘Diamonds are formed under pressure.’
And bread dough rises when you let it rest.
We’re all our own things. What’s motivating to you may be crippling to others.”
So before deciding to dial-up on the extra enrichment and tuition classes this month for your P6 kids, parents, I urge you to take a couple of steps back to understand if that is truly what would motivate your child to perform their best for PSLE.
2. Managing expectations
Even the best laid plans can go awry. Your child has probably worked hard over the past couple of years (let’s face it, Primary 5 is essentially a prep year for Primary 6), and it’s a lot of pressure to say that all of that work and effort comes down to how they perform in their PSLE. It’s good to have realistic goals for your child, but as parents, it’s equally important to ensure that you manage your own expectations of the final outcome. Situational anxiety is a very real thing, and affects even the best of us adults.
3. Be their support system
I’ve had too many students over the years sharing with me that they were terrified of revealing their school exam grades to their parents for fear of their reaction. I know we want the very best for our kids, but it is also our responsibility to be their safe space. This month, more than ever, your Primary 6 child needs you to be their emotional support system; they need to know that they can rely on you to give them the boost of morale and encouragement they need when their fears and anxieties start to overwhelm them.
4. Avoiding Comparisons
“If Ian could score that well, why can’t you?”
But your child isn’t Ian, and Ian isn’t your child. Every child’s strengths are different. Making comparisons between your child and someone else’s child or even their own siblings can be extremely demoralising. Not every writer is a mathematician and vice versa. In this day of social media, it’s also easy to make comparisons between what you might be doing as a parent for your child, versus someone on your friends list on social media.
Don’t do it.
Just because someone is doing something in a certain way, doesn’t mean you have to or your child has to as well. You do you; and you do it in the best possible way you can.
5. Taking breaks
Everyone needs a mental break. Just because it’s the last couple of weeks or so leading up to PSLE does not mean your child needs to cut back on their break time. In fact, encourage them to actively set aside some time every day to do something else apart from revising. Whether it’s something as simple as reading a book, or going for a dance class; encouraging your child to decompress is equally important as getting them to revise those science concepts. Trust me, it makes a world of a difference in rejuvenating their minds and well-being.
It’s just September.
Yes, it’s when PSLE starts in full swing. But that’s it. Your child is so much more than the PSLE, and they’re going to get through this last lap. The best thing you can do for them right now is to be their biggest and loudest cheerleader. You can do it.
Rooting for you and your child,
Saffir,
Teacher & Founder of StudywithSaf
